I miss you so much..

There's no place I can really shout out right now. I wish there is someone I can talk to and willing to listen to me.

Somehow it seem so difficult to even find a close friend to talk about anything you want and give constructive advise.

Job selection is just getting messed up, thing just doesn't goes as I want.
Job offer is getting shitty, and I'm still hoping that some miracle going to happen between another 2 more company so that I can finally secure my job in the future.

I not looking at any position or career advance right now, but the pay and benefit they offer. Just to be realistic, I need a job just to continue my life and my living. Period.

End of my confession.
I wish he somehow is here to hold me in his arm to listen to me carefully, and kiss me on my forehead and tell me good advise. I miss you bad

Need to find back my bubbly self.. =)

Period.

Strange feeling hit again..

Writing a post in blog spot or any other blog website, probably one of the way of expressing your inner feeling, which is the feeling that is so hard to express and describe to other people..

I post an entry once in a while when, I think I got the words to put it in here..

So nonetheless..the feeling just hit me again. There so much mixed feeling inside me..sometime I feeel, wake up and get my ass to work, and work harder and harder..and get paid at the end of the month..which is the life I can't avoid at all. I can do the same routine everyday..I can tell the same story to other people or new people I met everyday. I call this boring routine work life - The reality..

Sometime I felt, I should against the whole thing! I need to express myself from head to toe, inside out, I need to tell them who the boss now! Working in this city is not an easy task at all, trust me when you dealing with such much races country..you will see lots of faces , personalities, characteristic in this societies. Where this more than enough to make you sick..I always thought and tell myself to calm down ...calm down...calm down...I tell myself that..the world is beautiful..world is so much to get mad and angry of this tiny little human in the city..

Back to reality again, I can't avoid it to deal with people that they close their mind and work so serious. I'm a fun and easy going person when it come to work..I think work can be so much fun..but oh well too bad..- The reality...


Maybe I should open up myself to the world, I love to meet new people, talk to people, experience the world, exposed myself to different culture, Although I already have one completely different culture boyfriend, but I'm really looking forward to know his country more..

I always failed to get social with my friend due to laziness..!!! Maybe I should keep up my pace again.. I do not want to lock myself under the deep down well like the frog.. only looking at the small part of the world.

Life is all about everything that make possibilities, Life is all about how you going to make yourself more happy than who you are right now, Life is all about how you make it so much more beautiful, Life is all about how you share the joy and happiness with others, Life don't just stop here like it or not, Life is about YOU!

..Would like to update here more whenever I got the words again, but words don't just stop here, because it always run in our head..

p/s: some people might don't even get what you trying to say sometime because most probably when the word run into their head it become different meaning/definition.. There are not stupid/dumb, our brain just run different.

Wandaring

Love to look at blossom flower..
It's make me feel good.. Do you love these blossom as much as I do?

I already missing you..from all of my heart..I wish to spend more time with you.
I might not know how to talk, react from time to time..but I hope I'm still the one that you love always..

I will always be right here waiting for you, whenever you need me..I will be there for you.

Perfection

I got this peeeerfect dress for my up coming event from A|X ..

I finally found something that similar to Herve Leger well known The Bandage Dress!

I've been look for this kind of dressed since ages! Herve Leger is wayyy too expensive for someone like to me buy it! A 6k dress? hell no! if only im that rich, then maybe yes!

and behold, my lovely bandage dress and it's worth for money! ;) thnx baby.

*-*-*-*-*-*

I always look for perfection, but unfortunately, perfection doesn't come to me..at all..

There's so much to tell and confess inside me, but, there no where I can confess and express it out the way I want..not even here!

For you

Baby..

I want to tell you that I love you more than anything in this world.

I want to tell you that I need you more than anything in this world.

Without you, there would be no me, there would be no happiness, there would be no life, there would be no light.

Without you, my world will be dark forever.

Thanks for coming to my life...

And thanks for loving me and keep me strong whenever I'm weak..

Let's start all over again

When things goes wrong..
We probably give up!..I say it...i give up....

But when you know you want and need someone in your life so bad...how can you give up and walk away just like that? like you never love this person before?
Where's your heart?

And the solution is...let's start over again, let's try for another time to fall in love for the first time with this man..feel his hug strong and powerful..use your heart to feel his heart just beat for you..

We turn things around to the good way..take it easy and let's start all over again...

We only blessed for one life to love someone..

We don't get a chance to love the same person in next life..remember this..
We'll all forget who we loved, who we met in this life..Family, Friends, Lover...

I hope Forever do exist...

When things turn around

Every single individual is unique,
they have their own thought, feeling, personalities, so on and on...
To make someone feel exactly how you feel, happy, sad..so on...is like 99.9% impossible..
or maybe 0.01% possibility, that just because that person is having the same genes as you! almost..

And you wish sometime some particular things happen, he will stand right on your spot and think how you feel...

But YET..did you ever think he wanted you to feel and think just like him at that moment?
Contradict hey? very much indeed.

I'm right on this very moment now.
That why I never win in any argument with anybody. Because I always think out of my own feeling and thought..

The little voice

Who can i talk to when i need someone to listen and understand me..?

Just right deep down..

Someone..who care and pour love without a word..

Money

What the first thing you'll do when you check your saving account and boooom, 1mil USD in the bank...(riiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttteeeeeeee)...just a great assumption and imagination..

What I will do is...give half of the money to my parents...that first..
Second..I would buy a houses, carss
Third.. check how much i left..and quit my job..
Forth...buy few luxury stuff at least..and one to soul mate as I promise..
Fifth...travel whole family to holiday..

If only someone bank in wrongly in to my account... :)

*~!*~!*~!*~!*~!*~!*~!*~!*~!*~!*~!*~!

It seem so hard for me..
I'm trying so hard ...

Rainbow after the rain

I got tonnes of stuff to put in this post today, so let me be..this my journal to be exact.

Have you ever feel this way before? ..Last week, I get so mad, frustrated, stressed, almost all the shitty thing happen on me for few days...I try to look at my life, what did I archived so far...I can't give the answer to myself.

Once, when I'm still in college, I thought to myself that maybe one day I become very successful logistician/economies..I guess i was wrong..It never been easy at work at all, and I realize that I'm not as good as others..

One things I hate the most about work environment is that , everything have to be so challenging and competitive, and all the human around you love to judge, compare .. and they want you to have the exact same vision at work, or even same life perspective with them, as a workaholic..why?!

**********************

I love my job, i love my company..
But I'm definitely having hard time at work dealing with some human, but I'm trying to fit into it and take it as my own challenge. I'm not trying to be as good as others but, at least I'm not quit my job when there problem exist.

On Thursday evening, there's a thunderstorm. Strong wind, very heavy rain while I'm my way back home from the office.

Most of the cars start pulling off and stop beside the highway..because is really hard to drive with that kind of situation and I barely saw what in front of me besides the whole lots of water pouring on the windscreen.

I did have a thought of pulling off too, but I think myself, lets give a shot, and try to focus on the light from the front car.

After I drove 5km, the rain get better...and the rain actually inspired me, something i can relate to..

When face trouble in your life (The heavy rain), don't give up (don't pull off even is dangerous), although I don't know what going to happen next( take risk, even I can't even tell where the road)..go ahead and give a try..don't give up on the problem, and let work it even if it's gonna end up in bad way...I know i do my best and i give as much effort.

this is similar on what i saw on the screen while I'm driving that day.( I Google the picture)

Rainbow after the rain, I guess just forgot how it feel like..but I'm feeling it all over again..

Life wasn't easy but I learned that Life is so beautiful..and I find its too short to live with people that you love and care..

I learned to view it another side..and I feel good with it.




so what you learned ? mind to share?

Parents

I love my parents,
and I know they love me as much as I do.
Somehow we party wouldn't know how to confess much about it.

I love to talk to them whenever I can.
But maybe I wasn't good in talk or not good to start a conversation with someone.
I always failed to make them laugh on what I say.
On the other hand, they probably laugh and happy talking with both of my brothers..whatever my brothers talk about, they pay attention and show interest in it...

I feel left out somehow...very...
I'm already used to this..since long time...but it will never felt any better..

I wonder how to tell them I love and care about them alot,
despite all of this things happen..they are my beloved mum and dad..
They love me alot, just showing me different way and care about me different.

God bless My mum and dad, for a healthy good life.

Pursuit of Our own HappYness

It been a while,
Sometime I will wonder how people keep updating their own blog, putting in every thought in their own blog.

I guess finally I got the answer,
Everyone have their own life, their own story, their very own happiness in their life.
So as I, sometime, we'll wondering why are people become a workaholic, work from day til night? - this is thier life, the life they choose , and the way that make them happy, where they found success and satisfactions in it.

Etc , Etc, Etc....Etc...any story you can think about. this is their life. World of our own :)

Nothing is forever. nothing. Even at the moment, it just last for a while. and then...*poof* gone.
I need to learn how to appreciate and cherish each of everyone around me, I only have them once in this life. but I'm bit greedy, I hope god give mercy ...send them back to me next life.

We need to live this life to the max!

***********

I might doubt and even suspect my own boyfriend being disloyalty....but the fact is I actually create my own imagination lately! which is very sick of having this kind of feeling, making me tired, fatigue!!!

until today, I'm awake! he being so nice and so patience with me. even I nagged keep annoy him, he just be there and patience, just to make me feel better. *L o v e y o u*

I guess after all, it's really doesn't matter how long you dating each other.
as long as he still with me, there where i found love..

I need to keep my word =)
Pursuit of Happyness.

. .

Broken heart.

How much you actually aware and understand?

This going to be a very confusing post.
I mean, very confuse .

Just asking myself, how much does others people realize and aware what you've done ?
what've you been telling them, the word, how much they absorb and take it seriously and knowing that you mean every single word? I hope whoever reading, get what i just put it down.

Example, when you say I'm sorry, how much do you understand the word, Sorry ! think again.
here another, when you tell someone " I love you " ..how much you mean it? can you actually feel it come out from your heart..? you it just any other word.

How much you understand the word, Appreciate... take a moment and think how much you appreciate people that you loved around you, think again...what've you done that you make them feel you truly appreciate their Appearance in you life..

Try to take sometime in your busy day, to at least send a text or give a call, make them feel you think about them or at least he/she know he cross your mind for a minute. that you actually care about them, make someone feel important, just like you want other do it to you. . just a fact.. that we might neglect and not aware about it..


Imysm <3

Life is too short

50 year to be in love with someone..is really to short.
where the forever gone to..?

50 years to appreciate and be together with someone you love, is too short,
where the forever gone to ..?

50 years down the road, is wasted that both didn't realise how short is the 50 year is or even less.

tell myself, i had the best with me, just for me,
cherish and appreciate him and hope for the next 50 year will still be him.

50 years..just too short.
Minus 2 = 48 years to go..
numbers is scary, anything involve with numbers...scary.
time, money, age...which one you fear the most.

will he be reading this..
God know.

. . .

I never thought that so hard to be apart..
being so far from you..=(
Couldn't reach you as I want or used to be..

Miss you so much already..

Counting down for another 14 days,
It seem like forever now..

On this joyous festive season...you not with me like year before..:(
trying so hard to keep myself occupied..but it seem , there something missing.
Thing that missing is you , who not around to share and be with me ..

Called once a day from you seem not enough for me...=(
miss you dearly...

2 is better 1...

Previous entry is a little embarrassed.. :)
But from my previous entry..i truly know that I wasn't alone..and there always someone ready to be there for me..=) thanks guys..you know who you are..you so sweet..

Current life was playing not bad tone..:)
After quit Samsung ..I felt so much better..and again, like mum say..i much happier now when I back from work from the present new co. =D

I guess after all it wasn't a bad move.

Things to update:

Good new! Going to Singapore for training soon! :)
Excited yet bit nervous...not sure if i can meet the expectation of my manager..!

The boyfriend going back to his country for 3week holiday :(
Please come back soon...I'm gonna miss you ..:(

I'm on my Diet plan...For real this time...and soulmate getting so sick about me..LOL!
Is wasn't easy to on healthy diet plan, when come to food lover like me..
And i resist to take any pill and all kind of thing..healthy first!
Tablet and all that probably gonna ruined your health when u getting old..i did not wan to suffer my older year..

*~!*~!*~!*~!*~!*~!*~!*~!*~!*~!*~!*

Favorite song of the day :

[Heart] Taylor Swift, her song bring a lots memories to us. Her song and our love..grow together..



Especially for you baby..=)
Going to miss you bad, when you not around me...


Some picture update..!
Hardly take any picture lately..

None...

Sometime i thought i'm fine..
Normal..i got lots of friend...

But when come to this kind of situation..i feel like
I find nobody around me...
When i'm not happy..i don't have anyone to tell and talk to..
It seem like i want to find them talk and listen to me...
but i guess i know what kind of answer they gonna give me..

so i decide don't tell anyone..and keep it myself..
And i thought there's always someone special..would listen..
Even i sad or emotional without a reason..

it felt so depress ...when...there's no one...
i can't find anyone to..stay beside me and..comfort...

I feel so lonely..all of sudden...its so scary...