Saturday, December 22, 2007

Time Flies.. ( Warn : Long/bored entry)

Time is running out ! - It's a sunny day of late December, it's end of the year just to remind. A lazy weekend, everyone is out of the office, everyone is on leave today, few of the colleague will be leaving this sunday for long holiday! There are no calls to return, no people to see. The day is mine.

Surfing the net and chatting on the MSN is the thing i been dying to do in the office. But soon I look away the screen again - looking at the screen makes me restless. Try to go for walk and slacking around in the office, but that's not satisfying either. Somethingis eating me inside, and none of the usual diversions seem to help.

Back to my work desk, the view outside the window still the same as it was just now, yesterday, and the day before. Chat with few friend on MSN for an hour and this passes the time. But when stop chatting, where i stop typing as well, there is the silence again.

There's nothing wrong, really. Nothing's pressing. Look forward to these very moments of peace and quiet in the office for all year long.Why then is it so difficult to let go and enjoy?Finally I realise what troubling me.

It's that little voice again, the one that keeps piping up during the silence and raiding the same litany of disturbing questions. "Is this all ?" it asks. " This place? This mate? This job? This life?""Time is running out." it whispers. "A portion of my life is already over ( doesn't mean I'm old, but growing older). Shouldn't things be better? Or at least different?"

But hang on for second, better than what? Different from what?I'm not sure, we're not sure. All we know is that one morning each of us, rich or poor, succesful or not so successful, wakes up again and say hi to the world to find ourself in the same troubling place. The wildly successful professionals who've made a small fortune, but who can't seem to enjoy their success; the artists and writeers and poets whose youthful hopes lie buried beneath a pile of rejection slips; The tired Lover and paramours, all coming to suspect that romantic relationship are not, after all, the best way to fill that deep, lonely place in the heart.

Many of us, it turns out, in one way or another come to this same Sober realization, that life does not seem to be giving us what we want. But what it is we really want? We can't excatly say.

There's one ting we do know for sure, however: this little voice has a way of provoking rebellious thoughts.

Wasn't life supposed to get better and better as the year pass? I ask...didn't I do what I was supposed to: go to school, join the team, work hard...and etc!

( to be continue..)

posted by : rach.v

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